Why I Wear a Wedding Ring...

Part of what I spend my days doing currently is teaching a class called Marriage and Relationship Skills. The first 8 weeks or so we discuss how to create healthy romantic relationships prior to marriage. The last 8 weeks of the course we discuss how to protect and fight for your marriage. One of the most important aspects of a marriage is remembering, particularly remembering all that is good; remembering all that caused you to fall in love; remembering all that you committed to when you got married. Wearing a wedding ring is key to remembering.

There are many traditions, religous and otherwise, dating back to ancient Rome and beyond as to why we wear wedding rings. However, as interesting as it actually is, the history of the wedding ring is not the point of this post. This post is just me explaining why I wear a wedding ring and why I believe everyone who is married should wear a wedding ring.


Our Rings 21+ Years Later

I have never seen my parents without some kind of wedding ring on. My dad has always worn a wedding ring...the same gold band he put on just more than 49 years ago.The only time he didn't have it on was, when as a child, I asked him if I could hold it. Sometimes he couldn't get it off, and truthfully he never wanted to take it off. He was my first and best example of someone wearing a wedding ring.

I know many people (very good, loving, faithful people), who don't wear a wedding ring, mostly it deals with their occupations. Some of them in the health field who have to continually put latex gloves on don't like wearing rings.  I've had some guys tell me they're just not into jewelry. I know several men who don't wear one because they "fix" things and it gets in the way. My dad repaired Xerox copying machines for more than 35 years. He got his ring caught on wires, screws, pegs, swithches, etc. and marked it up pretty good, but he still never took it off. However, I have been told there are some places of work that forbid rings being worn for different reasons, usually safety concerns. I can't argue against that, I don't know. It's rare, and those aren't the cases I'm referring to anyway. I take mine off when I lift weights or waterski, and I don't waterski anymore, so outside of working out that's about it. And I workout at home, so whatever, and then it goes right back on. I've heard some say they just forgot to put it on.

I wear a wedding ring for several reasons: 1) I'm married, 2) It reminds me that I'm married and helps me to act like it always, 3) It tells other people I'm married (not that I'm fighting off advances from people who only stop pursuing me once they see I'm married, you know, but just in case...) and 4) It helps reinforce that commitment. There's probably more, but four is a good start I suppose. Most of all it's a reminder for me.

Some people argue that wearing wedding rings is a dated practice and not that important anymore...nothing wrong with breaking away from tradition. But for me being committed to someone doesn't just mean saying you are, but also showing it. Wearing a wedding ring is just one, simple way to show that commitment. People should think you're married if you are married. They should be able to look at you and determine that immediately. True enough, they should be able to deduce that whether you have a ring on or not, just based on your actions, but if they can't, the ring will help.

I've had people debate me on this already, it's nothing new. One man said, "We don't need to wear rings to prove to each other we can trust each other." That's true.  I've also heard, "If someone needs to know I'm married I can tell them." Yep, this is also true. I still say wear a wedding ring because you got married. Anyway, I've also been told, "Just because someone wears a wedding ring doesn't mean they are going to be faithful." Yet again, pretty much true, a ring can't make someone stay faithful, but I do know of a couple scenarios/people where looking down and seeing their ring influenced their decision making process during a very critical moment...a moment where everything could change.

When I look at my wedding ring I think of my wife. I think of her a lot, and that's a good thing. It makes me think of my kids...that's five good things. It reminds me of all kinds of things I try to stand for and it's my daily reminder of those commitments and goals. It reminds me of July 17, 1993 when I promised my wife she would get the very best of me and all I have to offer...forever. I fall short of that too often, but I keep trying, and my ring is a reminder and motivator. I'm lucky, blessed and proud to wear a wedding ring. If you're married and have chosen simply not to wear one, I hope you will reconsider. It's kind of a big deal...just sayin'.

The End

SNAPP